Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Not just a mum

Don't get me wrong I love everything about being a mum even the bits I'm going to mention in this post that will come across as I don't BUT as much as I am a mum I'm also a daughter,sister,aunty,great aunty,fiancee,friend and most of all still human underneath deep down in mum mode me.

I can't be the only mum who feels once she has her babies that the invites seem to stop for nights out,lunch,shopping etc 
As if because your a mum you no longer have an identity of your own and your now just so 'n' so's mum.
I'm very lucky to have friends that will invite me out even when they know my answer is very likely to be a no or that I'll leave early, I admit alot of the problem is my own I haven't actually said to my friend shall we go for lunch? fancy a bit of shopping today? how about a girls night? That I am awful for and how I still have friends popping to see me or even bothering with me is beyond me.
It's very rare that I am ever me anymore I'm in mum mode 24 hours a day 7 days a week that is my own fault Andy is always sending me off with some money in hand to treat myself but I always come home with stuff for the girls.
I feel selfish for saying it but everywhere I look other mums are treating themselves or being spoilt and I'm really jealous of that I can't seem to treat myself with out feeling guilty! 
Even when I'm out my only thought is about getting home to my babies again, I attended a blogger meet last year (my first) and I was me for a little while Andy told me not to feel like I needed to rush home and just relax for a bit and I actually did, I switched mum mode off for a bit and was me for the day (of course the girls were still on my mind) and I couldn't not buy them anything. But I realized I could be me for a few hours and it would take me to mention I was a mum for them to know and not feel bad about it or rush home as quick as I could.
 It felt good for awhile I've said that I was going to make more time for me be it the shops alone,stop by for lunch with a friend or even just a little pamper night.
I was to treat myself more too as well as make more of an effort with my appearance instead of going out with my awful skin,hair chucked in a messy bun and wearing clothes that fell out first and fit, for years I've never really properly treated myself because I would always think about what I could buy the girls or Andy out of the money I'd be spending on myself and I'm always left wracked with guilt even if I really needed that bra because my boobs no longer fit in any of my others. I don't consider myself and my needs as important anymore
But I'm human too I deserve a treat every now and then right?
 I'm not talking thousands I'm talking £2O here and there, making the jeans,handbag,shoes or whatever it is I've had my eye on for so long mine! 
Now both girls are at school/nursery I have 2-3 hours of ME during the day and god does it feel weird but I think it's time I made better use of that time leave the housework,leave flapping about to get shopping done and have a soak in the bath,have a face mask.

please tell me I'm not alone?

Thursday, 22 January 2015

Blogging Goals 2015

So we've done the general goals for 2015 so lets set some goals specifically for blogging!

- Interact with more bloggers I make a point of commenting on  as many blog posts as I can but I'd like to have the confidence to tweet another blogger every now and then.

 - Find a happy medium on what I post at the moment I'm a little lost on what I actually want my blog to be about I want it to be a bit of everything you'd expect a mums life to be like. I'm trying to find a happy medium and not post all about one thing all at one time and have a nice balanced mix between all topics, I considered another blog just for beauty/fashion posts but I doubt I'd keep up with them both. 

- Start Vlogging of some kind the ideas are there I just need to be confident in front of the camera and not end up a stuttering mess every time.

- Actually learn to use my camera to the best of its ability My camera isn't the best camera but it certainly isn't the worst camera either I just really suck at all things photography.

- Attend a blogging event or two I attended my first blogging events last year and they were so much fun to be a part of I aim to get myself stuck into as many as I can this year.

- Get some blog cards made for events I've never felt like my blog is good enough to have cards but there's nothing worse than going along to a blogging event and having to rip a piece of paper up to jot down how to find me or spell it out for someone to note it down on their phones when all other bloggers are handing over their pretty pro looking cards.

- Have a blogging schedule Blogging would be so much easier if it was all written down in advance on what my posts will be about etc, I'm suffering from bloggers block way to often for my liking.

- Take part in twitter blog chats I see them going on quite often but don't take the plunge of taking part too as I never feel I fit the category or that I'm a good enough blogger to be taking part in those chats.

Wednesday, 21 January 2015

NEW LOOK | Sale picks

NEW LOOK | Sale picks

Everything here can be found over on the newlook website in the up to 7O% OFF sale.

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Taking it back - Birth story edition | Daisie

As I didn't have a blog when I was pregnant with the girls I'm going to do random 'Taking it back' posts. 
Starting with Daisies birth story as it's the eventful one!

14th July 2O11
It's induction dayyy!! With my induction time coming up in a few hours so a soak in the time before I set off, Andy rushes upstairs with my phone it's the hospital they have no beds to start my induction to night and I'm to call in the morning to check if any beds have become available.

15th July 2O11
8am phone call from the hospital they finally have some beds available to start my induction.
Quick flap around to find someone available to take me in to have this little lady we finally arrive by 1Oam in time for my bed.
Wrist bands given shown to my bed and a few rules gone over it was time to wait for the nurse to become free to start me off with my first pessary I'd heard them mention to the lady opposite there was a 3O minute to an hour delay, I met the midwife that would be caring for me had all my checks done and she gave me my first gel at 12:45 she said she didn't expect it to be very long my cervix were very thin and she could feel Daisie's head very low down (YIPEEE) I met a child doctor who explained everything that would happen once Daisie was born who said I could go and have a look at the special baby unit to see where Daisie would be going if I wanted to take a peek, The gel wasn't doing much and it was finally time for my second gel 7pm the midwife checked me over and I was still only 1-2 cm dilated. 
Second gel done here come the bad boy contractions!! With some time to pass we decided we'd go and have a look at the special baby unit after a quick peek the man on duty was concerned my waters might go while there so back to my ward we went. Contractions still coming strong and hard so I took some paracetamol and codeine neither did anything by now I was shattered and just wanted to sleep but laying down was impossible so the midwife offered to check me over with all that pain surely some progress was made? Then came the news no one wants to hear when they are in that amount of pain STILL only 1 almost 2cm dilated so the midwife offered me some pethidine after asking all questions possible about it affecting baby she gave me some pethidine along side a anti sickness injection. 
Then she decided to let me know it can work in two ways totally stop/slow down labour or speed it up WHATTTT? 
After the pethidine kicked in I was finally able to settle down enough to get some sleep and relax, We were told all day that it wouldn't be long and baby would be here so with me settled for sleep Andy headed home. 
Just as I started to nod off POP! As casual as ever I say to my mum 'something just popped, Yeah it was my waters its running down my leg' Off she went to let the midwife know over hearing the midwife say yeah I'll check on her in a minute while I'm calling Andy hoping he'll feel his phone vibrating in his pocket and pull over, No answer he wouldn't be home for a good 1O minutes as he literally just left I knew because his bike was that loud. Along came mum back from alerting the midwife then comes that pushing urge so off ran my mum to let them know I was now pushing in came flying the midwife checking me over with one of the most shocked faces I've seen she asked where Andy had gone, Telling her he had gone home she said get him here NOW! I jumped from 1-2cm to 8cm delivery suite was rang and a room was being sorted for me as a second lady came in with a wheelchair for me with a baby pushing as hard as Daisie was sitting in that wheelchair going over bumps was not the most comfortable, We arrive at my room with the cleaners still in the poor cleaners were practically screamed at to get out and how I wouldn't care that the floor was dirty! Once in they told me to get onto the bed with the help of the midwife which almost ended up covered in sick helping me out of the wheelchair because I'm polite I swallowed it instead of throwing up all over her YUCK!
On the bed I get, before I know it Daisie is crowning and there she was at 23:23 placed onto my chest as perfect as ever and just as I'd said through out my pregnancy she was small and had lots of hair just like her dad did. It happened so quickly that it took Andy all of 14 minutes and being followed by the police for speeding to get back to the hospital he walked in as Daisie was being cleaned up and dressed.
We had our cuddles then it was time for me to have a bath and for Daisie to be taken up to special baby unit for an x-ray and to have her breathing monitored for the night.
With Daisie tucked up in special baby unit by daddy for the night after her first bottle I was taken back to my ward lets just say the sickness injection didn't work and I painted the cube shaped toilet in sick I've never seen so much 2 bowls and a floor filled. 

Looking back at my notes once we were home my 3 stages of labour were
1st stage was - O1.15
2nd stage - OO.O8
3rd stage - OO.19
I'm sure you can see how Andy manged to miss Daisies birth.

Have you been induced? How was your experience with it?

Saturday, 17 January 2015

I'm ... Because

I saw this post over on Jemmas blog and with the little message at the bottom about everyone reading to fill it in and link her to their posts I just had to fill it in for myself. So here goes

I'm weird because...
  • I can't be touched or touch things when my hands are wet or even after when they are damp, I have dry them cream them and then dry them again then maybe I can touch things without wanting to vom
  • I don't like beans or cheese but I can eat them together on toast
  • I like chocolate but hate anything chocolate flavoured but I hate strawberries but love anything strawberry flavoured
  • I'm terrified of moths and butterflies, they seem so dusty and beady eyed AHH..

I'm a bad friend because...
  • I take forever to reply to messages even tho my phone is in my hand majority of the time
  • I'm never the one to contact and make plans BUT that stops this year

I'm a good friend because...
  • Whatever you may need I will go out of my way to help you if I can
  • I tell Andy everything but if you have a secret you don't want to be told its safe with me

I'm sad because...
  • My babies are getting older and are slowly asking me to stop doing certain things now like walk them right up to their school doors and would rather I waited at the school gates
  • Andy still has toothache after 3 days and a visit to the dentist 
  • I could only think of 2 things that makes me a good friend and struggled with the 2nd which really hit home with how bad of a friend I've been to some of the best friends in the world! 

I'm happy because...
  • Its the weekend.
  •  My monkeys are happy
  • Issy came home with her 4th spelling cert for getting them all correct on Friday

I'm excited because...
  • I get to go shopping soon and get my hands on some ripped knee jeans atlast
  • My baby has her first birthday party invite from school in the week
  • I may just be able to make my first MAC purchase soon

Just like Jemma I'd love to read your answers if you take part

Friday, 16 January 2015

LUSH - Blackberry Bath Bomb

Lush Says
'As soon as you drop this into your bath, tension is banished as the bergamot and frankincense oils are released. Bergamot is used in aromatherapy for anxiety, depression and nervous tension, and is both relaxing and uplifting as well as antibacterial. You’ll soon feel calmed as frankincense oil helps slow down breathing and induces a feeling of wellbeing.'

This is one of those bath bombs that I simply picked up for the price to fill my basket a bit more but like all bath bombs I don't read what it does,what it has in it etc. 
I give it a sniff and if my nose approves in the basket it goes, popping it in my bath instantly turned into a lovely shade of purple with random little bits that looked like little drops of ink BUT there was also this strange blotches of a kind of film floating around the bath too, I can't even think of a way to describe so I've provided a picture below.
 Once I'd jumped in the tub they did eventually disappear but when I lifted my leg I had random streaks of purple across my body, luckily with a bit of body wash it came off but cut my bath short as I just wanted to get out. The strange kind of film had also started sticking to the side of my bath which only meant one thing the longer I was in the harder it would have been to remove from the sides of the bath.

To make up for all the staining this bath bomb did kind of make up for it with a little surprise!

Despite all its cons after reading the uses of some of the ingredients used for Anxiety I think I will repurchase and put it aside for a day that I'm struggling with my anxiety a bit more than on a usual day. 
Just to see if it helps in anyway.