Sunday, 31 January 2016


January has to be one of the best months but equally the worst month,
Whether it's recovering from the cost of christmas, getting back into routines, the pressure of keeping to any resolutions you've made etc theres always something BUT all those sales sure do make it that little bit better to handle!
I've never really done any major January sale shopping sprees only because money simply doesn't allow me to but I have spotted loads I'd have got if my children weren't so inconsiderate wanting to be fed everyday of the week not to mention bills coming from every angle.
(I'm joking before I get burned at the stake for that)
But I sure do miss the days were all I had to worry about was what I was having for dinner and not how much it was going to cost to put together, The joys of being a adult eh!
I haven't got my hands on a major amount but I like to think I've picked myself up a few little gems in the sale this month from Primark, Store twenty one, Superdrug and Asda.

Excuse the worn boots they are so pretty I couldn't hold off wearing them until I got some decent pictures but if you have me on twitter you'd have read that my love for them was very short lived.
After the first day of wearing them I noticed one of my toe nails were red but put it down to one of the girls recent atacks of nail varnish, I went on and wore them for a second day but when I took my socks off 2 of my toes on each foot were covered in blood! BOO...
I seem to have a crazy obsession with make-up sponges even tho I don't use them, if I find one in a new shape or colour I just have to have it and the primark one was no different I didn't spot it until I was at the till and saw the glorious £1.50 down to 70p sticker I just had to have it.

I spotted the copper/rose gold pen and letter holder in store twenty one before christmas and fell in love with them but didn't pick them up, I plan to swap rooms with the girls and my desk will actually be used as a desk rather than another place to put washing piles, store anything and everything so these were just perfect and a must have for the small price tag. Just like many others in the blogosphere I'm  in love with rose gold and copper recently so the next time I was near store twenty one I ran straight to the section they were stocked to grab them.
Since putting the palettes I purchased in the letter holder while they waited for me to take photos of them I fell in love with them as a palette holder so I'm considering grabbing a few more for make-up storage too.

I had my eye on so much of the make-up revolution sets in superdrug over the christmas period and sadly didn't get my hands on any of them until boxing day and they had the Ultra Salvation lip collection right down to £1.99!!!! 
Of course they went straight in my basket, I also had my eye on the Studio classic eyebrow series before Christmas too and was more than willing to pay the full price but never did get round to it so when it was down to £1.99 I didn't hesitate in grabbing it.
Another thing I've gone crazy for is eyeshadow palettes I don't even wear eyeshadow but palettes are so pretty and if I own them I can start playing around with eye looks!
I have my eye on a few of the W7 palettes so when I saw the In the night one down to £2.50 in asda it was another must have buy.

Did you get your hands on any bargains this month?

Monday, 18 January 2016

10 steps back | Anxiety & Me

Ever felt like your finally getting to where/how you want to be then suddenly out of no where you seem to end up 10 steps back?
No idea how or why but everything's unravelling?

I started 2016 with so many high hopes and goals after all the hard work I had put into showing my anxiety disorder I was boss and I was the one in control, I started attending some courses to improve my C.V to fill in the blanks of my missing GCSE's and the gap of not working where I've been bringing up my little ladies.
I was there and I was doing great very rarely having a bad day, Then the girls returned to school and I was supposed to return to complete my maths course.
All was going well then all of a sudden like a switch my mind just told me no and all I could do was cry at the thought of going back there, I just couldn't do it I didn't want to face people I was stressing out about affording my bus fare what with recovering from christmas and then Issy's birthday the following week.
So I rang my course providers and let them know I'll be in the following week but I promised myself this was just because the stress of affording to get there, Along came the following week and I went along to my course with no problems for 2 days but day 3 is where it all went spiralling out of control.
I sat my maths exam next minute I'm talking to the manager about my next steps fighting back tears! I was told  to take the rest of the week off and to return the following week to start my English course, Telling me to focus on how far I had come and to not even think about the result of my maths test because attending the course alone was a big thing for me and how proud they are of me for doing just that alone.
(He was made aware of my anxiety before I attended my first course)
I ended up crying with frustration the whole bus journey home I gave myself a few options that I felt would help 1. run straight to my mums and just break down to her 2. Go to my local park sit on the swings and just scream as loud as I could but I didn't want to worry anyone and finally go home sit in my car that I can't drive yet and just scream there before I went in doors.
As I stepped off the bus I expected to cry some more and have to dodge everyone I know at my local market but as soon as the wind hit me there seemed to be no more tears there and my mood lifted the wonders of your comfort zone eh?

I was so tired of being in a constant battle with my own mind, I felt I didn't have much fight left anymore I wanted to give up and let it win, live some more of my life hiding away from the world and not facing anything BUT after a little bit of fresh air seeing my girls faces  my whole attitude changed I refuse to give up! I've come this far and I only plan to go further after all it was a bad day and we are all entitled to those aren't we?
It doesn't mean tomorrow or the day after that and the day after that are going to be bad ones!
So a BIG F you anxiety I refuse to let you win, you've won the past few years but not no more I WILL be returning to do the other courses I plan to do and everything else I've planned to do in 2O16.

Writing it down seems so pathetic but at the time it felt like all I could do, I wanted people to see just how real Anxiety is and just because you can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, I wanted to go to those that don't quite get it and roll their eyes when I mention it and let them see just how broken it had left me over something so simple.
By the time I'd reached home the me that doesn't want anyone to see my struggles and my weakness was back.

What better way to mark my determination?
Dye my hair the colour I've been talking about and pestering anyone I know for their opinion on it for months.

Monday, 11 January 2016

Ebay Basket #1

Ebay Basket #1

Hat / Leopard Glasses / Vintage Glasses / Faux Leather Skirt / Shirt Dress / 10 Piece Brush set / Eye shadow Palette Thigh High Boots / W7 Eyeshadow Palettes / Tassle Stilettos

This year I really want to step out of my comfort zone and find my style again it doesn't even have to be my style it just has to be a style that looks like I actually own a mirror, I want to stop putting outfits together in my head and having them going no further than that.
This year I plan to wear those thigh highs without worrying I look like a hooker, wear that Faux leather skirt out to dinner because it looks gorgeous, Wear a hat without feeling like I may look like a stuck up cow or something I'm not to someone and generally just wear what I want without worrying about what people think.
I'd like to try new frame styles without being signed up to those lenses to actually be able to see! eBay is perfect for cheap glasses which I can play around with different styles and if theres a frame I like but not for everyday wear it will give me the extra shove to go and book my contact lense appointment then I can also finally wear the many sunglasses I own and do my make-up without practically straddling my mirror just so I can see.

Friday, 1 January 2016


I'm not even going to try and fool you guys into thinking the new year will bring a whole new me because I'm not even kidding myself and to be totally honest there's a few tweaks I'd make but a whole new me is just a tad extreme.
That being said if I wanted to make any drastic changes I don't think I'd wait because theres no better time than the present a new year is a perfect start just as a memorable marking but this year I decided to stop waiting and just went for it something I plan to continue throughout 2O16 and all other years from now.
So I'm going to make a list of goals I'd like to achieve through out 2O16!

- I really let my blog slip at the end of this year, there was plenty of opportunities to schedule posts but I just didn't take them and I'm truly gutted now looking back so one of my goals for 2O16 is to have a blog schedule I can hopefully keep to around general life.
- Attend more blogging events I've attended a couple since starting my blog but I'd love to take the leap and attend a few more that are out of my comfort zone I tend to shy away from a lot of them because I don't think I'm quite worthy of the 'blogger' name.

- Take more pride in my appearance I own more than enough tools for the job but when I can I'll always opt for the extra 3O minutes in bed or just to laze about before heading out, There was once a time I would never leave the house without making an effort.
- Drink more water I very rarely drink water and always opt for a fizzy drink, I managed to kick the habit of drinking a litre of coca-cola a day more water is the next step.
- Enroll onto a few make-up courses and other courses that take my fancy.
- Pass or at least be close to passing my driving test, Twice I've started lessons and given them up near to christmas the first being 2O1O

Home life & General home
 - Have more of a structured routine with our home life
- Clear both gardens and keep it that way, making them as I've imagined them for so long
- Turn my house into the home I've been lusting after for so long

Do you have any goals you'd like to achieve in 2O16?

Wednesday, 30 December 2015


I've wondered all day whether I should do a 'What I got for Christmas post' but since christmas has been over and I've had some time to catch up with my bloglovin feed I've been hunting what I got for christmas posts and videos because I'm seriously nosey! *insert monkey hiding eyes emoji*
Why don't blogs have emoji options yet?

I won't list each item I got and who they were from because this post would go on forever, I've missed a few things out of the photo like I was sure I had while getting the photo. Some of the things that haven't been pictured are an awesome jack skellington wooly hat because its no secret I'm a HUGE Tim fan, an american sweets box, mascara, family & friends photo frame and an impresive stash of biscuits which was for all of us as a family.

I've been wanting a willow tree statue for awhile now, every time I get into any kind of house conversation I always mention how I'd like one to represent me and the girls, Andy and the girls and me and Andy. 
When delivering our presents my mum mentioned the little bag was breakable and to be careful with it, also that she hadn't got me anything pandora for my bracelet this year but she got me something I've been wanting. Christmas day I finally got to find out exactly what it was and it was the start of my willow tree collection it was the friendship one my mum has called me her best friend since I can remember whenever she's down she turns to me and always apologises for it something I always tell her off for and remind her that its exactly what I'm here for.

I also got plenty of bath stuff lets face it, it just wouldn't be christmas without bath and smelly stuff will it?
I finally got the POLICE perfume I wanted for ages I had planned to get both me and Andy them as the bottles match just different colours but never got round to it before, So I finally got him the mens one and his cousin got me the womens so we can finally display them together in my bedroom! 

I also got some jimjams which aren't pictured because obviously I've lived in them since I got them, I'm guilty of getting into my pyjamas as soon as I know I'm done with going out for the day.
Theres just nothing better than your jarmies when your indoors how Andy doesn't own one pair is beyond me.
I also got some underwear but nobody wants to see that

I also have the Holly Hagan not quite a geordie book on its way to me, I've wanted it for what feels like forever since starting to watch Geordie Shore I'm seriously late to the party on this one and have only watched the last 2/3 series. I've read Vickys and now its just Charlottes on my list, I did plan on lending my nieces copy but she sucks at reading books and I've read a few waiting for her to finish her copy.

If you have a What I got for Christmas post I'd love to have a read, leave me a link below so I can take a peek! 

Monday, 28 December 2015

How we spent Christmas 15'

First of all I hope everyone had a wonderful christmas, I've been so useless with my blog the past two months my plans of any scheduled christmas posts didn't go plan at all after I got seriously swept up in all the christmas madness, flapping left right and centre over anything and everything.

This christmas we had a big family christmas at home.
We had a total of 12 of us for dinner this was our first year having such a big number to cater for or to cater at all usually we go along to my mum and dads for dinner, Luckily we all worked as a team when it came to buying in everything my mum and dad bought and cooked all of the meats, My aunty done all the desserts and I had the easiest bit of all the trimmings.
I DID have every intention of preparing and cooking said trimmings myself but my parents popped in early after going to my brothers, With an hour to go until our other guests would be arriving and dinner should be almost ready to dish I of course was only half dressed in my tights and skirt with my pyjama top on and hair all over the place we won't even mention my face. I had only got as far as setting up the tables and clearing up all the madness of the mornings present opening.
I had no idea that the potatoes would need boiling before going in the oven so thought I had more than enough time *palm face*  Thank god for mum and dad they ended up peeling and prepping all the veg and even manning the cooking of them on their first christmas off! 
While I finished getting myself sorted, the final pieces of the table and general unnecessary flapping around
Sorry mumsie and pops next year I promise to be more with my time keeping. This Christmas was the first time my mum and dad left the house for christmas dinner in 48 years!!
My dads a hard one to get out the house to any kind of event as you may have read in my beefeater post, once he's out he loves it but its the getting him to come along in the first place.
The cherry on the cake this christmas for me was hearing my dad talking to Daisie about christmas telling her that this years was the best christmas.
It went so well I've been wondering why I've never hosted christmas at my house before, It was so lovely having everyone that means so much to us around our table.

On christmas eve we decided we wouldn't be getting as many pictures as we did in pervious years and to just enjoy the day by being in the moment rather than watching it through a camera screen. It was lovely I am kind of regretting not getting more than I did tho because I barely got any and the ones I did get are either blurry or the lighting was awful.
I even bought plenty of photo props for the dinner table and didn't even get any of those either I totally underestimated the power of food once our plates were full the photo props was the very last thing on our minds.

With christmas day over with its onto the countdown of Issy's 8th birthday!

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

Christmas Eve Boxes '15

This year I made the girls boxes a little more of a permanent fixture and something we will pull out every year if I haven't found another use for them once Christmas has passed.
I went for a plain crate from eBay and done the finishing touches myself with Andy's help, Now I have the crate bug and I want crates in every room!
I'm lucky enough that Andy owns his own vinyl cutting machine so he cut the girls name out in vinyl sticky back and I used that as a template for me to paint onto the boxes one of Issys L's bled slightly under the sticker but I was in no way going to make it worse by correcting it afterwards so opted to just leave it be.

Over all the boxes cost me a total of £16.41 for the both of them
that includes the cost of the ribbon and paints to paint them white and the red for the names.
All of the items inside cost me no more than £1 each!!

I planned to get a lot better photos on my camera but it just wasn't happening I always remembered at the weekend with little eyes around who have been lead to believe the boxes I was painting were for Daddy's tools and to this day they still believe so. With Christmas just round the corner I'm running out of time way to quickly to get any decent pictures of them with school plays to attend, christmas shopping to finish and whatever else likes to pop up this time of year I'm sure you'll forgive me for my shoddy phone photos.

Have you done a Christmas eve basket this year?
 I'd love to read all about them if you've blogged about them!