People often mistake seeing me rushing through the school gates of a morning as me being late or just generally crap with timing.
Truth is I could quite easily be at those gates by 8:3O most mornings (doors open at 8:45 for the kids to go in) but I purposely make sure I don't get to that gate until 8:45, if I do happen to be earlier than that I'll walk the longer way to school and if we are still early instead of going along to the school and waiting for the doors to open, I'll pop into my mums on route to pass the extra time even if its just 5 minutes.
I do this on purpose to avoid any socializing when it comes to waiting in the school at every chance possible the thought makes me shudder, it's just not something I can do.
Luckily a few mums will go out of their way to speak to me if I happen to cross their paths as they know I suffer with anxiety, if every parent at the school was the same as those wonderful ladies maybe just maybe I'd happily go along earlier and let Issy run wild with her friends before she goes in but right now as much as it pains me to say it I'm really not able to just yet but I WILL!
I'm yet to do a school pick up without ending up into a big stress ball (I feel myself go literally like a puffer fish)
having so many people around me puts me on edge and really stresses me out.
To the point I've often left the school looking like a pyshco effing and jeffing away to myself all hot and flustered, It honestly does feel like that day is out to get me Daisies falling over, Issy's running away, the girls book bags are hanging open, I'm piled with coats and whatever else the girls have brung home from the day at school everyone's looking, I'm sweating as if I've just finished a work out at the gym just get me home already.
Things I planned to, should and want to be enjoying ends up leaving me in more stress then what the days up to the girls births did, I want to enjoy watching my girls run together while I'm loaded up like a donkey but anxiety gets the better of me and turns those joyful moments into my own miniature hell!
To help with the end of the day pick ups I take my headphones, pick a bench as far from people as possible but one that's in between where Issy comes out and Daisies nursery so I can be found by both and listen to my music until Issy walks out and then its round to the nursery to collect Daisie.
Once those headphones are out the fun really begins
If you suffer with anxiety and have school runs to manage I'd love to hear your coping techniques