Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Not just a mum

Don't get me wrong I love everything about being a mum even the bits I'm going to mention in this post that will come across as I don't BUT as much as I am a mum I'm also a daughter,sister,aunty,great aunty,fiancee,friend and most of all still human underneath deep down in mum mode me.

I can't be the only mum who feels once she has her babies that the invites seem to stop for nights out,lunch,shopping etc 
As if because your a mum you no longer have an identity of your own and your now just so 'n' so's mum.
I'm very lucky to have friends that will invite me out even when they know my answer is very likely to be a no or that I'll leave early, I admit alot of the problem is my own I haven't actually said to my friend shall we go for lunch? fancy a bit of shopping today? how about a girls night? That I am awful for and how I still have friends popping to see me or even bothering with me is beyond me.
It's very rare that I am ever me anymore I'm in mum mode 24 hours a day 7 days a week that is my own fault Andy is always sending me off with some money in hand to treat myself but I always come home with stuff for the girls.
I feel selfish for saying it but everywhere I look other mums are treating themselves or being spoilt and I'm really jealous of that I can't seem to treat myself with out feeling guilty! 
Even when I'm out my only thought is about getting home to my babies again, I attended a blogger meet last year (my first) and I was me for a little while Andy told me not to feel like I needed to rush home and just relax for a bit and I actually did, I switched mum mode off for a bit and was me for the day (of course the girls were still on my mind) and I couldn't not buy them anything. But I realized I could be me for a few hours and it would take me to mention I was a mum for them to know and not feel bad about it or rush home as quick as I could.
 It felt good for awhile I've said that I was going to make more time for me be it the shops alone,stop by for lunch with a friend or even just a little pamper night.
I was to treat myself more too as well as make more of an effort with my appearance instead of going out with my awful skin,hair chucked in a messy bun and wearing clothes that fell out first and fit, for years I've never really properly treated myself because I would always think about what I could buy the girls or Andy out of the money I'd be spending on myself and I'm always left wracked with guilt even if I really needed that bra because my boobs no longer fit in any of my others. I don't consider myself and my needs as important anymore
But I'm human too I deserve a treat every now and then right?
 I'm not talking thousands I'm talking £2O here and there, making the jeans,handbag,shoes or whatever it is I've had my eye on for so long mine! 
Now both girls are at school/nursery I have 2-3 hours of ME during the day and god does it feel weird but I think it's time I made better use of that time leave the housework,leave flapping about to get shopping done and have a soak in the bath,have a face mask.

please tell me I'm not alone?


  1. im pleased your having fun, mind it dont last forever i never get out lol

  2. I love this post! I have been feeling exactly the same recently, I made a New Year resolution to make some more time for me, even if its just a nice bath in peace or spending some time doing my hair and make up instead of not bothering because I am a ‘stay at home mum’. Enjoy your me time hun, you deserve it! x

    1. I'm so glad I'm not alone, I was starting to feel really selfish for admitting it!
      Thank you :) You enjoy yours too it's very well deserved x