Saturday, 21 March 2015


A note you may never see but one day you may stumble across my blog and have a peek for more than a proof read of a post I'm yet to publish but want to be sure and have your opinion on it first.
I know over the years I've become increasingly harder to live with and most days you really don't know whether your coming or going and forever treading on eggshells as you can never be to sure to know what kind of mood I'm in that day and what may set me off, I'm always holding things in and only letting you in on my thoughts when I've reached boiling point and all the trivial things become the biggest problem yet once I've finally let you in I look back at them and think REALLY? something I promise never to do again every time it happens yet I continue to do so.
When I turn into a heap of sobbing mess because I'm an awful mum, I'm sick of my sh*thole of a house your there to hold me and remind me of everything I'm getting right and that I do the best I can, 
Each and every day you remind me how much you love me, that you think I'm gorgeous even with a face that could easily be the new face of dominos pepperoni passion pizzas, every little bit of me that I point out and hate you seem to love the most.
You often pull me to a halt in whatever it is I'm doing just to let me know how much you love me, the movie kind where you make me look deep into your eyes just to know I'm taking it in and not just shrugging it off, I admire every little thing you do, the thought of our girls thinking you can 'fix' anything just like I used to my dad when I asked him to fix my leg like he did everything else (a story he often tells me) turns me to total mush.

Because I really don't tell you often enough I just want to remind you that I love you just as much today as I did the day we became us if not much much more, I love the little things that make you, you the way you pout your lips when you concentrate, as much as it drives me mad but the way you have ketchup on EVERYTHING, the way you throw yourself and put your all into any kind of project you take on, how you seem to claim any corner we have in the living room unless I got it first, the way your the only person I know that can leave socks in two totally different places or maybe its a different pair but I've come across them separately, how when I eventually give in and gather up the mugs you've had tea in at your desk at least half of them have the half way bit from your rizzla packet rolled into a ball in them or the empty rizzla packet, as difficult as it makes spag bol making you will only have the tomato and garlic sauce and know if I've tried a different sauce and not told you, how I got sky for the girls but the planner is full of all your programmes, how you'll try your hand at anything and usually end up pretty awesome at whatever it is, how you won't kiss me when you come back in from a cigarette because I don't smoke, how you sneak out of the bedroom and leave me to sleep until I wake up over the weekends, how your full of so many random facts, how you will talk to me about your bike even though you know I have no idea what the hell half of it means, I love how you always make sure I have enough cherry coke to last me the rest of the day/night if not you'll take a walk to the local garage to go and get me another bottle, how you can find the funny side to absolutely anything.
God I really can go on can't I?
I just know you'll be doing that chuckle that I just adore reading that last line if you have found yourself reading this.

I love you!